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"This is the story of an extraordinary boy with a brilliant mind, a heart of gold, and a tortured soul. It is the story of an illness, a fight to live, and a race against death."
From the day he was born, Nick Traina was his mother's joy. By nineteen, he was dead. This is Danielle Steel's powerful personal story of the son she lost and the lessons she learned during his courageous battle against darkness. Sharing tender, painful memories and Nick's remarkable journals, Steel brings us a haunting duet between a singular young man and the mother who loved him--and a harrowing portrait of a masked killer called manic depression, which afflicts between two and three million Americans.
Nick rocketed through life like a shooting star. Signs of his illness were subtle, often paradoxical. He spoke in full sentences at age one. He was a brilliant, charming child who never slept. And at first, even his mother explained away his quicksilver moods. Nick always marched to a different drummer. His gift for writing was extraordinary, his musical talent promised a golden future. But by the time he entered junior high, Danielle Steel saw her beloved son hurtling toward disaster and tried desperately to get Nick the help he needed--the opening salvos of what would become a ferocious pitched battle for his life.
Even as he struggled, Nick's charisma and accomplishments remained undimmed. He bared his soul in his journal with uncanny insight, in searing prose, poetry, and song. When he was finally diagnosed and treated, it bought time, but too little. In the end, perhaps nothing could have saved him from the insidious disease that had shadowed him from his earliest years.
At once a loving legacy and an unsparing depiction of a devastating illness, Danielle Steel's tribute to her lost son is a gift of life, hope, healing, and understanding to us all.
- Sales Rank: #327578 in Books
- Published on: 1998-09-08
- Released on: 1998-09-08
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 9.54" h x .93" w x 6.40" l, 1.38 pounds
- Binding: Hardcover
- 336 pages
Amazon.com Review
Like Kurt Cobain, Nick Traina lived for punk rock (his bands made two CDs, Gift Before I Go and 17 Reasons), succumbed to heroin addiction, and died of suicide. His mom, Danielle Steel, takes us through her 19 twister-like years with Nick in a memoir more affecting than her potboiler novels. Like his AWOL addict father, Nick had good looks, bad behavior, and a yen for the feminine. Five days before he died, he phoned a woman he saw in a centerfold and had a new girlfriend by nightfall. But his fun was ever haunted by manic depression. At age 11, he was a bed wetter who ate all the Tylenol and Sudafed in the house. He first considered suicide at 13, as Steel learned by reading his diaries after his death.
There is tension in this story--one doctor told Steel if she could get Nick to live to 30, he'd probably live a normal life span. (For example, Nick's troubled dad resurfaced, sober, soon after his son's death.) And Steel conveys a sense of the intelligence Nick used to conceal his learning disability, and the irreverent charm that alternated with irrational rages. Oliver Sacks has urged us not to ask what neurological disease a person has, but what sort of person the disease has got hold of. Steel gives us a vivid sense of the costs of the disease to a family--and of the person who was Nick Traina. --Tim Appelo
From Library Journal
The best-selling novelist on the lifeAand deathAof the manic depressive son she loved so deeply.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
The Nick Traina Foundation has been established to benefit mental health, music, and child-related causes, and other charitable organizations for assorted causes. All of the author's proceeds and agent's fees from this book will go to the foundation, which will also receive direct proceeds from the publisher for all copies sold.
Most helpful customer reviews
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Disappointed
By SC Mom of Twins
While Steele obviously has the abilitiy to write well, I was bothered by several things in the story. It is their story, and significant to them, and a tragedy did occur. However, if you are the parent of a bipolar child who lives in the normal middle class or forbid, lower, it will be very difficult to relate to this book. After working in mental health for over 10 years, I can only imagine the changes it would have made in many, many lives if everyone could afford two full-time attendants, and essentially a full-time, as in 24/7, case worker in their good friend Julie. These people flew by plane repeatedly to assist Nick wherever he was at the moment or if Danielle needed extra help managing him. These are wonderful resources, but I think Danielle has very little insight into the struggles of families and mothers of children just like Nick, who can't have all those extra supports in place. Those people have the profound love for their child, as she did. But many are stuck in a very under-funded system with minimal options, if any, available to them at times. They have to sit by and watch their child disintegrate, without the benefit of being able to pick up the phone and talk to not one, but two psychiatrists he had, at any hour of the day. I don't begrudge her any of it. It is her wealth. But as a parent of a child with bipolar, I got very little out of this book.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Natsukashii
By ohwhatever
Normally Amazon recommendations irritate the Hades out of me, but in this one instance, my interest in sailing, my annoyance at Danielle Steel's novel Miracle, and process of post-humous publication combined and encouraged me to read this book. I know some people poo-poo this book as something she shouldn't have written, but I'm glad she did. Some families bottle up their grief, and never tell a soul. Danielle does what writers do. Write about it. It was encouraging to see a parent who respects her child's songwriting, his creativity, and the personality behind his works. She dedicates the book to trying to explain the hardships that Nick went through that so many didn't see. It's a disease, and a deadly one, and some are not cured. This book is about him, unlike other books by parents of children who died by suicide, who write books entirely about themselves (ex. Theology and the Disciplines of the Foreign Service: The World's Potential to Contribute to the Church) and dedicate it to their child to promote a religion that he didn't even subscribe to.
Although I don't think she meant this to happen, this book also gave me a little bit of insight into why she wrote Miracle the way she did, and the piece of Nick and herself that is in it. Still irritated that it isn't really about sailing, but at least I understand now that it wasn't really supposed to be.
In some cultures, there are three forms of death. The first is when the body dies. The second death is when one is interred. The third death is when no one mentions their name ever again. I'm glad Danielle wrote this book, because it encourages people to remember him, and not just him, but his works.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
I know the pain
By KT
I too have/had a son that was manic depressed, this book is the real deal. The ups and downs are very good or very bad, there is no in between. I lost my son to the disease in 2010, he was also 19. I wish I would have read this book sooner, to know that it was real because as a mother sometimes you look for symptoms that are there but they are hidden behind a brave face. I cried through the whole book. Danielle always called it demons he was fighting, and I always claimed Bailey was fighting a war in his head. Thank you Danielle for writing this book (I can't even imagine how difficult it was to write) so others have an insight to this disease.
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